very christmas

moments like this afternoon (she was making christmas stuff + me studying) and like yesterday night (watching a movie and crying at the end like two idiots)
make me realize how i love her.

my mum. love her. she's sensitive and she's creative.
the only thing that has changed before my Staying away was that before i felt like i was lost and helpless without her. now im pretending that i could do it myself, like i did when i was elsewhere. and still dunno which is better.

what i m struggling is also what i most admire : her sense of family.