moments like this afternoon (she was making christmas stuff + me studying) and like yesterday night (watching a movie and crying at the end like two idiots) make me realize how i love her. my mum. love her. she's sensitive and she's creative. the only thing that has changed before my Staying away was that before i felt like i was lost and helpless without her. now im pretending that i could do it myself, like i did when i was elsewhere. and still dunno which is better. what i m struggling is also what i most admire : her sense of family.
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